


You Make Me Feel Like A Whore

by frogfarm



Series: Buffy Etcetera: (Shorts) By Request [9]
Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Gen, Sublimated Fantasy Hatefuck, Unrequited Hate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-05-21
Updated: 2006-05-21
Packaged: 2019-01-30 06:30:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12648033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/frogfarm/pseuds/frogfarm
Summary: Vengeance is all that Lindsey has left. That, and a river of denial.Post-"You're Welcome", pre-"Origin".





	You Make Me Feel Like A Whore

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mara_sho](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=mara_sho).



> Probably the closest I've ever gotten to guyslash.

There's a song in this, somewhere, even if Lindsey's not the one to sing it. Not your typical country and/or western; his woman hasn't done up and left him, and he hasn't owned a dog since before he came to the big city. Actually, he wishes Eve would just give up and take off, quit trying to make him feel better. The sooner she leaves, the less likely he is to say words he can't take back, won't want to. So he sits in his basement efficiency, surrounded by sigils, living on cheap noodle dinners in between leftovers smuggled out of the Wolfram and Hart cafeteria; dreams of cutting Angel into a pile of quivering chunks, locking them up in Permanent Storage and destroying the key. He can't remember the last time he and Eve fucked, and every time he jacks off there's this undercurrent of rage that Angel could have cut off his hand again and didn't.

It's probably the only non-evil part left.

  


* * *

  


Why he left the apartment is anyone's guess, and his first bet is sheer boredom. Having risked everything twice and lost both times makes it easy to shed the last remnants of dignity; ignoring weeks of facial hair, the holes in his jeans and sneakers, the suspicious sidelong gaze of businessman and bum alike, protective ink slowly starting to fade, agonizing hours of needlework down the drain as his flesh rejects the scraps of borrowed power that remain. Plenty of other spells only work once in a lifetime, but the hatred that fueled his claw to the top has become insufficient motivation, even for the guy from Trent, Griffin and Trent who tosses a crumpled ten in his lap without a glimmer of recognition. He's standing outside the liquor store, working out the calculus of quality to quantity, when lightning strikes a second time.

"Hey."

Lindsey looks right through the kid but inside he's screaming, smashing his guitar, driving the tips of his boots into a perfect face that rearranges and heals before his eyes. Stares at those pale features, until all he can see is Lee Mercer's bloody face of surprise, slamming over and over into the table, Faith smiling cold and taunting him.

_How do you look **now?**_

"Can you buy?"

He glances around on reflex, brain awhirl with possibilities as he strives to play cool. The face that stared up at him from Eve's purloined files flickers in the glow of the streetlamp.

"For you?"

Connor frowns.

"I'm not into any weird stuff --"

"Forget it." His brain whispers _later_ , and _soon_ , and three years ago he could have had this boy vivisected inside twenty minutes.

"What's your pleasure?"

  


* * *

  


He watches from the sprung and itchy seat of a rented van. When Connor appears at the end of the driveway to open the mailbox he guns his foot floorward, gripping the wheel as he grins in a rictus of pleasure; sees the boy in the mirror, rising to his feet, and instead of throwing it into reverse he speeds away without a thought, ignoring the neighbors' shouts, the throbbing in his head and groin. He spends it later on the shower wall, ignoring Eve pounding at the door, thinking of the vampire having to look upon his only begotten son, pushed to new extremes to explain away his deceptions. It's enough, for now, but sooner or later he knows this will end in death.

He hopes he can live long enough to see Angel beg.


End file.
